hardcore love

sufferinglove.jpg

When I watch love movies, it makes me all warm inside. It ‘shows’ that happy ending does happen. But … Whenever people share their thoughts and dissatisfaction on their marriages, I wonder what do we really want in our marriage? Maybe our unhappiness of our marriages are caused by love stories we read or watch.

It is by definition a union of two people. Even when we are alone by ourselves, we are constantly faced with battles within. Doubts are everyday life. Should I do this, or do that? What if I go now, then what will happen?

When two people merge, it’s like war every minute. Said or unsaid. I do admire marriage couple who stay together everyday, live together and work together.

After two years of marriage, I am still working on it. Sometimes it is quite impossible to know what he is thinking or what he wants me to think or do. When one of us got it wrong, it takes a lot of energy and emotion to explain or to make it right. It seems to me, people are less understanding and less forgiving when it comes to their loved ones.

So there are three things that hold true for me now.

Expectation is not good. It’s ok to expect. Don’t make it into obsession.

Compromise is the key. When it just seems unbearable, just compromise, as in turn blind eye and deaf ear.

Less spoken is less trouble. Our words are our tiger. Beware. Be cautious.

In the end, love movies are the one thing that corrupt us all. Happy ending is not that easy. It is hard work. ‘Happy ending’ is relative. It’s full of terms and conditions!

If we want the ‘happy ending’ a la chick flicks, we will suffer for sure!

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7 Responses to “hardcore love”


  1. 1 LB December 15, 2007 at 8:25 am

    I think I will agree with you.. We want love, yet we usually take it for granted as well, and mostly because we see all those Happily Ever Afters…

  2. 2 Jennic December 15, 2007 at 3:03 pm

    The “less spoken” is a big one for me right now. Sometimes things just do not need to be said, even if it would mean to bottle things up inside. That’s my personal opinion and of our situation right now. If you ask me again next week, it could very well change. 😀

    It is mostly true, we take for granted our loved ones and hurt them the most with our words etc. Because they’re related to us, we expect them to be beyond human (nature). Unreal expectations. I’m guilty as charged..

    Nicely written post.

  3. 3 Jientje December 15, 2007 at 6:20 pm

    It is, … nicely written I mean, and I fully agree! Love is not to be taken for granted.
    You have to work on it, every day, even after twenty five years!
    You still need to respect one another, maybe after all this time it is a little bit easier to know what the other half is thinking, but still….
    Even after all we’ve been through together, I still need to adjust my expectations from time to time, I still have to compromise, and bite the tip of my tongue from now and AGAIN!….
    Love and marriage … It’s not the make believe of the movies, but it can be great!

  4. 4 Jientje December 15, 2007 at 6:21 pm

    Oh, and euh… by the way, I love your Christmas trees!

  5. 5 Sandy (Momisodes) December 16, 2007 at 2:21 am

    You are so right. Love is hard work. There are rarely any relationships in life worth keeping that don’t require work. Expectations are my biggest obstacles. They usually only lead to disappointment.

  6. 6 Howard MacKinnon December 16, 2007 at 2:36 am

    Great article, and Blog! I found you doing some research and looking for some very good blogs that are dealing with relationships and marriage, but especially all the aspects of divorce… Because, I believe that it has and will always be a factor of communication that is the key to any good relationship and that the lack of it, is where the trouble starts for every marriage… Whether it be money, alcohol and drugs, adultery, pornography or and abuse in every form of mental, spiritual, and yes physical will all lead back to one thing, and that is no real communication, especially after reading this post it reminds me how important it really is…Keep up the good work on all of our behalf’s. Thank you, Howard M.

  7. 7 andiesummerkiss December 16, 2007 at 8:55 am

    LB,

    We can make our own version of happily ever after, only without the princes or princesses. 🙂

    Jennic,

    I learn the quiet mode from a friend. She fought so much with the husband. Then she decided to just turn it off. Now they lead a rather peaceful life. But I got an earful everytime I see her. I am glad to be able to help, though.

    Jientje,

    Nicely said. Right to the point!

    Sandy,

    Expectation maybe is the biggest culprit. Tough huh. But the reward can be so great .. So keep on the good work, all of us 🙂

    Howard,

    Thank you for your nice comment.


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